The Best Jokes Ever

Looking for a good laugh? Check out our list of the best jokes ever! Whether you’re a fan of puns, one-liners, or witty anecdotes, we’ve got you covered. Discover what’s the best joke ever and more.

Laugh Your Socks Off with Our 100 Best Jokes Ever!

Get ready to laugh out loud with our collection of the top 100 jokes ever. From witty one-liners to hilarious anecdotes, we’ve got it all. So buckle up and get ready for a ride filled with belly aches and tears of joy. Trust us, it’s worth it.

1. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
2. I invented a new word! Plagiarism!
3. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
4. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
6. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
7. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
8. What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison.
9. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
10. I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.
11. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
12. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
13. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
14. I’m not sure if my window is transparent or translucent. I can see through it, but I can’t see out of it.
15. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
16. I’m not sure if I’m psychic or just really good at guessing.
17. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
18. I’m not sure if I’m a procrastinator or if I’m just really good at time management.
19. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
20. I’m not sure if I’m a good liar or if people just believe everything I say.
21. What do you call a cow with three legs? Tri-tip.
22. I’m not sure if I’m an alcoholic or if I’m just really good at drinking.
23. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
24. I’m not sure if I’m a good cook or if people just don’t want to hurt my feelings.
25. What do you call a cow with four legs? Beef.
26. I’m not sure if I’m a good person or if people just think I am because I’m funny.
27. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
28. I’m not sure if I’m a good driver or if I’m just lucky.
29. What do you call a cow with five legs? Ground round.
30. I’m not sure if I’m a good lover or if people just think I am because I’m good at making them laugh.
31. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
32. I’m not sure if I’m a good friend or if people just like me because I’m funny.
33. What do you call a cow with six legs? Chuck.
34. I’m not sure if I’m a good person or if people just think I am because I’m funny and I make them laugh.
35. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
36. I’m not sure if I’m a good employee or if I’m just good at pretending to be one.
37. What do you call a cow with seven legs? Sirloin.
38. I’m not sure if I’m a good boss or if people just think I am because I’m funny and I make them laugh.
39. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
40. I’m not sure if I’m a good parent or if people just think I am because I’m funny and I make them laugh.
41. What do you call a cow with eight legs? Porterhouse.
42. I’m not sure if I’m a good spouse or if people just think I am because I’m funny and I make them laugh.
43. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
44. I’m not sure if I’m a good person or if people just think I am because I’m funny and I make them laugh.
45. What do you call a cow with nine legs? T-bone.
46. I’m not sure if I’m a good person or if people just think
47. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
48. What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison.
49. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
50. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
51. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
52. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
53. What do you call a cow with three legs? Tri-tip.
54. What do you call a cow with four legs? A cow.
55. Why did the slinky fall down the stairs? Because it was depressed.
56. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
57. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
58. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
59. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
60. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
61. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
62. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
63. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
64. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
65. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
66. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
67. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
68. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
69. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
70. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
71. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
72. What do you call a cow with three legs? Tri-tip.
73. Why did the slinky fall down the stairs? Because it was depressed.
74. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
75. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
76. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
77. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!

The Funniest one-liners Ever

Get ready to laugh with our collection of the funniest one-liners ever. From puns to sarcasm, we’ve got it all covered. So sit back, relax, and get ready to have your funny bone tickled.

• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
• I’m so good at sleeping, I could sleep with my eyes closed.
• I’m reading a book about paranoia. I keep thinking someone’s watching me.
• I’m so bad at multitasking, I can’t even watch two TV shows at the same time.
• I’m not sure if my wife is psychic, but every time I think about leaving her, she gets the kitchen knives out.
• I’m so indecisive, I can’t even decide whether to be indecisive.
• I’m reading a book about the history of glue. I can’t put it down.
• I’m so good at procrastination, I’ll put off doing something later.
• I’m so bad at lying, I can’t even tell you a good lie about how bad I am at lying.
• I’m so good at sarcasm, I could tell you a joke about it, but you wouldn’t get it.
• I’m so good at being humble, I’m the best at it.
• I’m so good at being wrong, I’m always right.
• I’m so good at being lazy, I’m going to write a book about it later.
• I’m so good at being a procrastinator, I’ll start writing that book tomorrow.
• I’m so good at being a smartass, I could write a book about it. But I won’t.
• I’m so good at being a smartass, I could write a book about it. But I’m too lazy.
• I’m so good at being a smartass, I could write a book about it. But I’m not smart enough.
• I’m so good at being a smartass, I could write a book about it. But I’m not funny enough.
• I’m so good at being a smartass, I could write a book about it. But I’m not sure if anyone would read it.
• I’m so good at being a smartass, I could write a book about it. But I’m not sure if I could finish it.
• I’m so good at being a smartass, I could write a book about it. But I’m not sure if I could sell it.
• I’m so good at being a smartass, I could write a book about it. But I’m not sure if I could get a publisher.
• I’m so good at being a smartass, I could write a book about it. But I’m not sure if I could get a good review.
• I’m so good at being a smartass, I could write a book about it. But I’m not sure if I could get a movie deal.
• I’m so good at being a smartass, I could write a book about it. But I’m not sure if I could get an Oscar.
• I’m so good at being a smartass, I could write a book about it. But I’m not sure if I could get a Nobel Prize.
• I’m so good at being a smartass, I could write a book about it. But I’m not sure if I could get a girlfriend.
• I’m so good at being a smartass, I could write a book about it. But I’m not sure if I could get a job.
• I’m so good at being a smartass, I could write a book about it. But I’m not sure if I could get a life.
• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
• I’m so good at sleeping, I could sleep with my eyes closed.
• I’m reading a book about paranoia. I keep thinking someone’s watching me.
• I’m so bad at multitasking, I can’t even watch two TV shows at the same time.

After laughing our way through the best 100 jokes ever, we’ve realized one thing: life is too short to be serious all the time. Keep laughing, keep sharing, and never stop telling jokes.